How to Answer the 'A quick rant about' Hinge Prompt to Rant Your Way into Someone's Heart

Heya, I'm Paw, and I'm about to drop 117 ways to answer the "A quick rant about" Hinge prompt. Some of these are gold, and some are trash, but they're all better than leaving it blank.

Before we dive in, if you want to see how you're stacking up in the cutthroat world of online dating, check out Swipestats and visualize your data. It might just save you from a lifetime of swiping into the void.

Now, let's turn your rant into a match magnet.

How to answer "A quick rant about"

1. People who walk slowly in grocery store aisles
2. The myth of 'easy assembly required'
3. Influencers who can't influence me to care
4. The audacity of printer ink prices
5. Restaurants that don't serve breakfast all day
6. The person who invented captchas
7. Unnecessary movie remakes
8. The extinction of the headphone jack
9. People who don't use turn signals
10. The conspiracy of shrinking chocolate bars
11. The lies we tell ourselves about New Year's resolutions
12. The friend who always says "we should catch up" but never does
13. The impossibility of folding a fitted sheet
14. Autocorrect's vendetta against swear words
15. The myth of "one size fits all"
16. People who bring babies to R-rated movies
17. The audacity of avocados going bad in 0.5 seconds
18. The friend who's always "5 minutes away"
19. The person who invented pop-up ads
20. The lies on food packaging photos
21. People who don't return shopping carts
22. The myth of "unlimited" data plans
23. The friend who asks for advice but never takes it
24. The impossibility of eating just one potato chip
25. People who talk during movies
26. The conspiracy of disappearing socks in the laundry
27. The audacity of companies calling a 6-hour window a "delivery time"
28. The myth of "quick and easy" recipes
29. People who don't clean up after their dogs
30. The friend who always has drama but "hates drama"
31. The impossibility of opening plastic packaging without scissors
32. The lies we tell ourselves about "just one more episode"
33. People who use speakerphone in public
34. The conspiracy of traffic lights turning red as you approach
35. The audacity of gym membership cancellation policies
36. The myth of "painless" waxing
37. The friend who's always on their phone during hangouts
38. The impossibility of finding the end of the tape roll
39. People who don't respect personal space in lines
40. The lies we tell ourselves about our screen time

Sarcastically Satisfying Rants for "A quick rant about"

1. The joy of stepping on a Lego barefoot
2. The thrill of forgetting why you walked into a room
3. The excitement of finding out your favorite show got canceled
4. The pleasure of biting your tongue while eating
5. The delight of running out of toilet paper mid-business
6. The ecstasy of hitting every red light when you're late
7. The bliss of realizing you forgot your phone after leaving home
8. The euphoria of warm beer on a hot day
9. The rapture of watching paint dry
10. The thrill of listening to someone describe their dream in detail
11. The joy of trying to sleep with a mosquito in the room
12. The excitement of realizing you're out of coffee on Monday morning
13. The pleasure of sitting next to a screaming baby on a long flight
14. The delight of finding out your favorite item is discontinued
15. The ecstasy of stepping in a puddle with socks on
16. The bliss of autocorrect changing your words to something inappropriate
17. The rapture of slow internet when you're trying to watch something
18. The thrill of getting a paper cut on your tongue
19. The joy of accidentally liking a 3-year-old Instagram post
20. The excitement of realizing you put salt in your coffee instead of sugar
21. The pleasure of getting Rick Rolled in 2024
22. The delight of your earphones getting caught on every doorknob
23. The ecstasy of biting into a chocolate chip cookie and realizing it's raisin
24. The bliss of your phone dying right as you need to make an important call
25. The rapture of someone spoiling the ending of a book you're reading
26. The thrill of realizing you've been talking with spinach in your teeth
27. The joy of your umbrella turning inside out in the rain
28. The excitement of stubbing your toe on furniture you've had for years
29. The pleasure of realizing you've been wearing your shirt inside out all day
30. The delight of your alarm not going off on the most important day
31. The ecstasy of getting a brain freeze from eating ice cream too fast
32. The bliss of someone using "your" when they mean "you're"
33. The rapture of running out of gas in the middle of nowhere
34. The thrill of forgetting your reusable bags at the grocery store
35. The joy of realizing you left the house with mismatched socks
36. The excitement of your favorite team losing in the last second
37. The pleasure of getting a popcorn kernel stuck in your teeth at the movies
38. The delight of realizing you've been mispronouncing a word for years
39. The ecstasy of your headphones dying halfway through a workout
40. The bliss of accidentally sending a text to the wrong person

Even More Ways to Answer 'A quick rant about'

1. The paradox of needing experience to get a job, but a job to get experience
2. The audacity of weather forecasts being consistently wrong
3. The myth of "5-minute" abs workouts
4. People who don't understand the concept of personal space
5. The conspiracy of vending machines eating money
6. The friend who always says "I'm not hungry" then eats your fries
7. The impossibility of keeping houseplants alive
8. The lies we tell ourselves about "just one more swipe"
9. People who clap when the plane lands
10. The audacity of "all you can eat" buffets with time limits
11. The myth of "waterproof" mascara
12. The friend who always has a "better" story
13. The impossibility of eating a Nature Valley bar without making a mess
14. People who don't silence their phones in movie theaters
15. The conspiracy of USB plugs never going in right the first time
16. The audacity of "lite" versions of apps with ads every 5 seconds
17. The myth of "unbreakable" phone screens
18. The friend who always asks "What are we?" after one date
19. The impossibility of finding matching Tupperware lids
20. People who don't understand the concept of inside voices
21. The conspiracy of fast food ice cream machines always being "broken"
22. The audacity of "free trials" that require credit card info
23. The myth of "commercial-free" streaming services
24. The friend who always says "let's split the bill" after ordering the most expensive item
25. The impossibility of keeping white shoes clean
26. People who don't understand the concept of personal boundaries
27. The conspiracy of chip bags being 50% air
28. The audacity of "buy one get one free" deals that increase the original price
29. The myth of "wrinkle-free" clothing
30. The friend who always cancels plans at the last minute
31. The impossibility of taking a good driver's license photo
32. People who don't understand the concept of queueing
33. The conspiracy of phone batteries dying faster as new models come out
34. The audacity of "all-natural" products filled with unpronounceable ingredients
35. The myth of "overnight success"
36. The friend who always says "I'll Venmo you" but never does
37. The impossibility of finding the perfect avocado at the grocery store

Ranting Off Into the Sunset

There you have it, 117 ways to rant your way into someone's heart (or at least their DMs). If these don't work, maybe it's time to face the music: your profile might need some serious help.

Lucky for you, Swipestats offers dating profile reviews that could turn your dating life from a tragedy to a rom-com. And if you're feeling brave, check out our dating app data visualizer to see where you stand in the cutthroat world of online dating.

Remember, a good rant is like a first date - keep it short, make it memorable, and leave them wanting more. Now go forth and rant your way to romance!